just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize