i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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