I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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