i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize