I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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