take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm really busy with my period
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