that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize