she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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