Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize