Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
barbara walters just said penis...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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