I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize