You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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