he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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