I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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