sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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