I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize