nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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