I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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