When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize