Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
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He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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