Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize