Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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