Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize