Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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