Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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