I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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