So drunk its hurt
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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