I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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