Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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