Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize