So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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