No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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