The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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