He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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