Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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