I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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