Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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