Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize