we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize