Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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