I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize