Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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