I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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