White coat. Heels.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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