I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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