I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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