Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize