Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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