Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize