I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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