quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize