Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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